CAN I GET A HELL YEAH IF YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU’RE DOING WITH YOUR LIFE AND YOU DON’T GET ENOUGH SLEEP
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I asked myself what style we women could have adopted that would have been unmarked, like the men’s. The answer was none. There is no unmarked woman.
There is no woman’s hair style that can be called standard, that says nothing about her. The range of women’s hair styles is staggering, but a woman whose hair has no particular style is perceived as not caring about how she looks, which can disqualify her for many positions, and will subtly diminish her as a person in the eyes of some.
Women must choose between attractive shoes and comfortable shoes. When our group made an unexpected trek, the woman who wore flat, laced shoes arrived first. Last to arrive was the woman in spike heels, shoes in hand and a handful of men around her.
If a woman’s clothing is tight or revealing (in other words, sexy), it sends a message — an intended one of wanting to be attractive, but also a possibly unintended one of availability. If her clothes are not sexy, that too sends a message, lent meaning by the knowledge that they could have been. There are thousands of cosmetic products from which women can choose and myriad ways of applying them. Yet no makeup at all is anything but unmarked. Some men see it as a hostile refusal to please them.
Women can’t even fill out a form without telling stories about themselves. Most forms give four titles to choose from. “Mr.” carries no meaning other than that the respondent is male. But a woman who checks “Mrs.” or “Miss” communicates not only whether she has been married but also whether she has conservative tastes in forms of address — and probably other conservative values as well. Checking “Ms.” declines to let on about marriage (checking “Mr.” declines nothing since nothing was asked), but it also marks her as either liberated or rebellious, depending on the observer’s attitudes and assumptions.
I sometimes try to duck these variously marked choices by giving my title as “Dr.” — and in so doing risk marking myself as either uppity (hence sarcastic responses like “Excuse me!”) or an overachiever (hence reactions of congratulatory surprise like “Good for you!”).
All married women’s surnames are marked. If a woman takes her husband’s name, she announces to the world that she is married and has traditional values. To some it will indicate that she is less herself, more identified by her husband’s identity. If she does not take her husband’s name, this too is marked, seen as worthy of comment: she has done something; she has “kept her own name.” A man is never said to have “kept his own name” because it never occurs to anyone that he might have given it up. For him using his own name is unmarked.
A married woman who wants to have her cake and eat it too may use her surname plus his, with or without a hyphen. But this too announces her marital status and often results in a tongue-tying string. In a list (Harvey O’Donovan, Jonathan Feldman, Stephanie Woodbury McGillicutty), the woman’s multiple name stands out. It is marked.
Who are you
Whats your favorite color
Favorite ice cream flavor
Do you have a cat
reblogging again bc I already got some from really cute people, but it makes me unreasonably happy to read these from you SO KEEP ON SENDING THEM
Please talk to me :)
guys never realize that.
Why play games though? Just come out and say no, don’t seem to hard.
cause the word “no” is not in ya’ll vocabulary.
Who is this ya’ll you speak of?
Honestly flat out saying no can be really scary. A lot of guys will be cool and leave you alone, but there are enough that won’t that I don’t always feel comfortable saying no. You don’t always know how a guy will react. I’ve had enough bad experiences that I always have an excuse or friend because I’m not willing to take that chance. Sometimes “playing games” is keeping myself safe.
That’s absolutely terrible, I know from personal experience I like women to be straight up with me. At the same time I know guys who are so childish and petty.
Childish guys are the easier ones. I’d rather deal with a childish guy that talks shit than a guy that gets violent. Either sucks but its the lesser of two evilswhenwomenrefuseexists for a reason.
Dudes out here are legit KILLING AND MAIMING WOMEN FOR SAYING NO OUTRIGHT and you wondering why we have to ‘play these games?’
I have been verbally harassed and FOLLOWED FOR SIX CITY BLOCKS for not giving a man my number. I thank GOD I wasn’t killed that day.
YES MEANS YES. ANYTHING ELSE MEANS NO. GET THAT INTO YOUR BRAINS.
because saying “no” can get you killed. I’ve never in my 23 years of life had a man actually just be chill about being told “no” i’ve been followed, cussed out, sexually harassed and more JUST for telling them “no” , so miss me with that why y’all playing games” crap. we’re not playing games, we’re fucking making sure we don’t get murdered because men think their entitled to women’s bodies.
when did we replace the word “said” with “was like”
When it occured to us that “said” implies a direct quote, while “was like” clarifies that you mean to communicate the person’s tone and general point without quoting them word for word.